The story I have for you today is so appalling, so fraught with tragedy, and so raw for those involved that I’m going to tell it à la caveman style. Some time ago we were gifted a family game (thanks, Jen!) titled Poetry for Neanderthals in which you have to get your team to guess the word or phrase on a card. However, you can only do so using monosyllabic terms, thus making you sound positively primitive. Since the first time playing the game, we have often attempted general conversation in the same vein because we’re nerds and apparently like to emulate our ancestors. It may or may not have something to do with the inflatable club that comes with the game, utilized upon the head of anyone who misspeaks with a multisyllabic word. My story may or may not end up using words with more than one sound, but since you are too far away to bonk me, I feel safe enough taking author-istic license.
It goes like this:
Much wind.
Fast tide.
Drive out boat.
Hit dock.
Scratch boat.
Oops.
Too big waves.
Sea leak through ‘see glass’.
Play ‘pack beast’ game.
Still too big waves.
Game slides to floor.
Seasick sail boy sits up front.
Go back to boat home.
Try dock boat.
Stress.
Not quite hit boats.
Stress.
Keep try dock boat.
Hit dock.
Big stress.
I fall in. Not quite.
Big scratch on boat.
Sad.
Try moor.
Miss.
Try more moor.
Miss twice.
Lose hook, bend pole.
Go back out to sea.
Play ‘pack beast’ game times two.
Big waves still.
Game slides to floor.
Try to watch fake tale on TV.
Lose U S B.
No more watch fake tale.
Sail boys and girls quit.
Boat go slow.
Wait in hush for low tide.
Try dock.
Cap’ Dan backs boat in.
Tie up.
We made it.
Sigh.
I certainly don’t need to be an expert on Newton’s Laws of motion to know that I normally enjoy being an object at rest. It also probably goes without saying that we were extremely thankful to finally be at rest after a VERY stressful day. Good thing the surrounding days were made extra special with Jake’s homecoming, though he’s unlikely to fall for “Let’s take a day trip on the boat; who wants to come?” ever again.
I’m not very good at capturing moments on camera, but as these are the only two pictures I took during Jake’s time home, I think they are worth at least a few words–which you can leave in the comments. 🙂
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