Waiting

Our winter has seemingly just decided to show up this last week. Previously, mini storms trickled through, interspersed by days of rain or unusually mild weather. Now we’ve just had back-to-back cascades of snow, which has been greatly welcomed by all the kids. Is it even winter if you aren’t trying to ski down your yard’s small hill or digging tunnels near the road where the plow piles up the most snow? I’ll even admit that the newly fallen snow is exciting because the contrast to our warm-destination vacation will be even greater. I wanted to say “better” there, but I know there are some people out there who prefer cold weather and winter to hot, glorious summer. To them I say, “it’s okay. Everybody makes mistakes sometimes.”

We are so looking forward to our vacation. Not a day goes by when our minds aren’t on the countdown to our departure date. Daydreaming about life on a boat for a week disrupts my sleep. Imaging running up and down golden sand, letting it run warm and grainy through my fingers, and laying on the sun-kissed surface invades my thoughts. Meals prepared by another and laid out in front of me gives me delicious anticipation while we wait out this last week to fly by. Memories are revealed by everyone at the dinner table with smiles and eagerness to have round two be as awesome as the first trip.

Whenever something big is about to happen in our lives, sleep is elusive. It’s silly, I know, but I lay awake, making to-do lists, calculating the pros and cons of the event or decision, predicting outcomes, and just generally stressing. There isn’t much to stress over for this trip, especially since we’ve experienced it before. The packing list is short and basically a redo from last time. I’d say the greatest concern is making sure everyone has bathing suits that fit them and trying to purchase said items that are still just out of season from the local stores. So, I lie in bed and overthink everything, while simultaneously thrilled for what’s to come. 

Last night was one of these nights. However, amidst the throes of the stress and excitement, I was struck by a thought that saddened me at first, but afterwards I was thankful the Spirit allowed it to cross my mind. Am I this enthusiastically elated and constantly contemplating the Lord’s return? Are my thoughts constantly turned to an eternity in heaven with Him? Where’s my excitement to walk on streets of gold? Do I consider the rest and nourishment I will get from the banqueting table that is set before me? Am I happy to ruminate on being in the Lord’s presence amongst thousands, hundreds of thousands, millions, perhaps billions of faithful saints, praising the Lamb together?

Having your conscience pricked can be uncomfortable. In fact, it probably is always uncomfortable. No one likes being shown or told when they are wrong or their desires are misplaced.  But we know He gives beauty for ashes and grace comes in the morning. While I’m ashamed to admit that the Lord hasn’t always found me “watching and waiting for his soon return”, it is now my renewed pleasure and challenge to think higher thoughts of heaven and be more excited for the Lord’s return. But it won’t hurt to be able to do this from the bow of the boat!

“Oh Lord Jesus how long, how long
Til we shout the glad song?
Christ returneth, Hallelujah!
Hallelujah, Amen.
Hallelujah, Amen.”