Hostile Takeover

Now that I’ve proven I can maintain a blog with somewhat regular updating, it’s time for the next phase in my plan to take over the site: making it pretty. As a military coup, beautification is pretty pointless, but as a cyber attack on Danny’s old blog, I believe there’s an art in asking Isaac, in just the right way, to help me. 

In the age of IG stories and YouTube shorts, blogs are nearly obsolete. They live in the murky, digital realm alongside flip phones and CDs and are now being defined as “words, because I don’t know how to make a reel.” Since I’ve decided to steal it, I really wanted to put the ‘own’ in ownership, so there have been a few minor changes. Thanks to the hours we’ve put into kicking Isaac off computers for the last several years, he was able to figure out how to implement many of the renovations I wanted. Hopefully there will be more to come, but when Danny isn’t looking.🙂

Speaking of hostile takeovers, did you know there is another person living in my house besides the eight of us? I discovered this a few years ago, but this seems like a good time and place to complain about it. This person is virtually invisible and therefore extremely elusive. The only way I know they’ve struck again is when the kids tell me. 

For example, one day I removed eleven bath towels from the hooks in the children’s bathroom. The number of towels was extremely disproportionate to the number of children who were taking regular showers at the time. When I asked each child who needed that many towels, easily giving up the culprit, they each replied, “Not Me.”

Another time, I walked past a bathroom and noticed there was no toilet paper on the roll. To be more specific, the brown cardboard roll was on the hardware with zero ply attached to it. Someone had to have used it up on their last go and didn’t bother to replace it. What a shock when I discovered, upon inquiry of all the children as to who the guilty party was, that “Not Me” had been using our bathrooms again. 

The blame gets placed squarely on the shoulders of “Not Me” for many other infractions outside of the bathroom too, lest you think we have a restroom ghost, but I think you get the picture. I’d really like to corner this “Not Me” though because he (she?) needs to account for his deeds. Instead of being a tactical troll, they need to become a contributing member of this family.Until then, I’ll have my children keep an eye out; they’re sure to catch him before I do. Assuming they’re on my side… 

But if Danny asks who took over his blog, I’m definitely going to tell him it’s Not Me.